One Down … One To Go … Check!
Prior to his departure, My Little Runaway/Casper The Ghost held two jobs. He was the IT systems administrator for two different companies. As he was walking down the sidewalk during the process of leaving me on D-Day, he was muttering something under his breath about the ‘commitment’ that he’d made to one of those employers.
You see, he was a critical technical resource for both organizations—one of them retail, one of them medical. As part of his contract with the retail company, he’d agreed to give a full 2-month notice should he ever decide to resign. The muttering I heard was him lamenting about how [now that he’d done the deed and gotten me out of the way] he was going to have to stay in town long enough to ‘honor’ his two-month notice period.
The words honor and commitment. In the same sentence, no less. And both uttered by his lips? They’re such fluid concepts these days, don’t you think?
As things played out in the successive weeks, it became apparent that there was nothing even remotely noble underlying his decision to stay in town. Nope. Nada. Nothing. He was simply sticking around because Poor Pumpkin had to. The travel Visa that he’d applied for [on the down low] had not been processed and received back from the government. [What Visa? I had no idea that he’d even applied for a Visa!]
Oh how thrilling the duplicity and suspense of the wait must have been for him! How was he ever able to stand it? He must’ve spent his days prancing back and forth like a nervous horse with an unwanted bit in his mouth. Why was the clock ticking so slowly?! he must’ve screamed each day. Because once his Visa arrived in the mail, he’d be free to bolt like a racehorse from the starting gate. Free to board a jet and leave the U.S.—with ‘her’.
The Bee Gees Sing ‘He A’int A Sociopath, He’s My Brother’ In The Background
I would later learn that Casper’s brother [a former Marine as well] was fully aware of my husband’s pending plans. He’d even been his willing accomplice. Dear Brother-In-Law had knowingly let Casper use his address as his official place of residence in order to surreptitiously apply for the Visa.
I would have expected a good brother—observing his sibling about to careen off the rails—might say something like: “You know Bubba, you’ve been married to this woman for 29 years. She’s been very good to you. You really owe it to her to let her know before you just up and disappear.” Especially since Dear Brother-In-Law had also served our dear Uncle Sam in The Marine Corps, and also supposedly learned a thing or two about ‘fidelity’.
But no, I guess Dear Brother-In-Law [like Dear Father-In-Law, the good Baptist Sunday school teacher who forbid his wife to speak to me] was afraid of ‘taking sides’ as well. Never mind that it would have been the right thing to do.
Hand Me The Clarifying Shampoo Please
Note that when I express my disdain for his family members and their blatant disregard of the ‘right and wrong’ of things, I am only referring to the WAY he left. Good grief, if My Little Runaway wanted a divorce, all he needed to do was ask for one. Who in their right mind wants to stay with someone who obviously doesn’t want them anymore? Certainly not me.
The bottom line to the way my ex left was downright dirty. And in my opinion [and I am an expert on my own opinion] by my husband’s family not at least trying to remind him of his accountability, covering it up when they knew about it, and failing to step up and tell me what was coming, makes them every bit as dirty as my ex. There’s no way to sugar coat that to make it right.
But then, there I go again, throwing around phrases like right and wrong and accountability …. Even more fluid concepts!
Oy vey! Slap to the forehead! My bad! Had I chosen Physics rather than Nursing in college, I would have been up to speed on Fluid Mechanics and this wouldn’t have taken me as such a surprise, right?
A bit of related trivia: Casper always liked to tell me that USMC stood for ‘Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children’. I think this is an insult to the many men who served our country and who—unlike Casper and unlike his Bro—apparently weren’t absent and paid attention the day they talked about the meaning of ‘Semper Fi’