Will You Be Mine? Psych!

As Gomer Pyle used to say …. “Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!” Little did I know that my dear husband was going to ‘ghost’ me on Valentines’s Day 2011.

Here’s a fun factoid: it was only 7 days after we’d celebrated our 29th anniversary when everything appeared normal.



Hurry, The Clock’s A Ticking [And Your New Woman’s Tapping Her Foot]

But, within 30 minutes of uncorking his magnum of bubbly news and blurting out his shocking announcement that he was leaving me, he was packed and out the door.

Just like that. No discussion. No explanation. Just a semi-tearful hug on the sidewalk and his parting acknowledgment that he knew that he was doing something extremely egregious to a person who was “undoubtedly one of the nicest people in the world”. 

Wow … Where does a being-rejected spouse file that one?!

Short Answer

You don’t. Instead—if you’re smart [and I wasn’t!]—you simply save yourself a lot of heartache up front and quickly hit the flush button. Then stand over the swirling water and wave goodbye to your Tidy Bowl Man or Woman as they circle the drain, just like your marriage to them, and the life that you once knew.

Next, salute and observe a moment of silence. Then, close the lid and laugh. Once you’ve done that, get on with the next stage of your life. 




Lyrics

From the backdoor of your life you swept me out dear
In the bread line of your dreams I lost my place
At the table of your love I got the brush off
At the Indianapolis of your heart I lost the race
I’ve been washed down the sink of your conscience
In the theater of your love I lost my part
And now you say you’ve got me out of your conscience
I’ve been flushed from the bathroom of your heart.
In the garbage disposal of you dreams I’ve been ground up dear
On the river of your plans I’m up the creek
Up the elevator of your future I’ve been shafted
On the calendar of your events I’m last week
I’ve been washed down the sink of your conscience
In the theater of your love I lost my part
And now you say you’ve got me out of your conscience
I’ve been flushed from the bathroom of your heart
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Jack Clement
Flushed From the Bathroom of Your Heart lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group