February 17, 2020

Calm Down Ricky Road Rage

Beep, Beep

I read this quote and decided to make it into a graphic because it made me think of all those crazy people I see in traffic—you know, the ones who have a hissy fit over every little thing when they are in traffic. Yes, those people. I think they need to consider the wisdom of this little quip.

You’ve seen them. You may know some of them. What’s worse, you may even be one of them. I honestly cannot relate to these poor souls getting so wrapped around the axle about traffic. It appears to me that they believe that when they are driving a vehicle, that defending one’s lane on the highway is apocalyptic warfare. Warfare that they must win at all costs. Goodness!

I know several folks who nearly stroke out every time they get behind the wheel of a car to go somewhere. Now let me clarify right here that I am not minimizing the fact that there are lots of dangerous idiots on the road—because there certainly are. There’s a valid reason to be hyper-vigilant where those motorists are concerned. And if you’ve ever driven anywhere near New York City or Boston, then you certainly know what I am talking about. It’s flat-out duck-and-cover in those parts of the country. Atlanta during rush hour and the 270-Outerbelt in Columbus Ohio get honorable mentions as well.

The Road Runner

The ones I’m talking about are those selfish drivers who come barreling down the right berm like Mario Andretti, throwing gravel everywhere and cutting the wheel at a 90 degree angle to abruptly dive in front of you at the last minute when there’s been a lane closure.

I’m talking about His or Her Royal Highness [and they ARE the center of the Universe, don’t you know!] that—rather than waiting their turn and merging politely like the rest of us civilized human beings—muscle their way ahead by any mean necessary and cut to the front of the line.

Or that person who inches their vehicle into oncoming traffic and continues to pull out without a care. You’ve seen them. They seem to think that as long as they don’t make eye contact with any other drivers, and that by staring straight ahead without blinking, an invisible shield magically drops down from the sky and envelops their car, somehow protecting them from being t-boned. Wrong.

But You’re An Old Grandma

Some people think I’m too passive because I always slow down and I always let them in. My uptight friends are adamant that these errant drivers should be ‘taught a lesson!’

I just laugh and think to myself “Bless your heart, honey. [my southern manners … not a compliment, by the way] If you’re wrapped so tightly that getting one car length ahead of me and saving a whopping 10-seconds in your day is going to be the make-or-break-point of your entire existence, and it keeps you off the ledge… then … by all means … be my guest. Carpe diem. Grab your moment of conquest”.

License And Registration Please

Really, there’s no sense getting all worked up over it. Nah, I think of it this way. Letting someone have the right of way takes less time than filling out a police report, so there. In other words, I’m not being passive; I’m just being efficient.


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