When The Moon Is In The 7th House & Jupiter Aligns With Mars

I was early born in the first week of February, so astrologically, that makes me an Aquarius Sun. And I married another Aquarius Sun. Yes indeed, Casper His Ghostness was also an Aqua. Danger Will Robinson! Danger Will Robinson!

The reason this raises eyebrows and gives one one pause is because anyone who knows the least bit about astrology knows the joke about Aquarians being ‘out there’. For example, they say that Aquarius women have an affinity for attracting [and being able to calm] people who have ‘issues’ (okay, insane people] into their lives. Aquarius males are known to get bored, have mental freak outs, and simply up and disappear. So wWhat do you suppose that says about Casper and me, and about our fated attraction to each other?

Two Aquarians in one household? It’s like Karma Chameleon the miniseries. Yikes! No wonder, their breakups become ‘Ordeals’.

High Voltage On a Good Day

See those two wavy lines in the glyph above? They represent energy—stuff that life’s made of. The juju. The juice. Look again. See how those two lines of electricity are running parallel and in synchrony? Well, in good times that makes for an easy-breezy environment where each person intuitively picks up the other one’s vibes. As a result, few words need to be spoken. In other words, when all that positive energy is happy to be traveling along in tandem, both of partners are ‘on the same wavelength’. That is—until they aren’t.

Imagine what you get when one of those high voltage lines go rogue. They CAN and DO get out of sync with the other. Then the two lovers who once min-melded become Richochet Rabbits … Farts in a skillet … Water dropped into oil. Raw mental energy bounces all over the place.

Here’s the deal. Both of these individuals are deep thinkers and mentalists—that can be a good thing. However, having said that,  neither of them come out-of-the-box with the compunction to open up about themselves and/or the desire to expose their inner sanctum to an ‘\other’ for the sake of intimacy. In other words, they’re happy in their own mental comfort zone—just walking around every day doing all that thinking and relying on others to intuit what’s on their twisted eccentric minds.

Intimacy, while very deeply desired by Aquarians, is also viewed as a huge risk—tantamount to the possible death of their individuality. So what do they do? They  play the aloof card with everyone close to them, but yet they jump with total abandon when it comes to loving mankind as a whole.

In other words, they’re the first ones to take to the streets and storm the castle for the disenfranchised or mistreated. But, as the the song says, they think to themselves: “Don’t stand so close to me.’ To them, it’s all about the collective. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, they’re icing the individuals that love them most. See what I mean? They’re more than a little weird.

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lso when these two lives wires are no longer running along in sync with each other (and by the way, neither of them will tell the other that this has occurred), things can become a scrambled mess. What you end up with is two smart people having having all these very cerebral conversations—but only in their own heads. This is a very crucial concept to get, or you will forever be scratching your head, wondering what’s up with these oddballs.

Two Aquarians together is a dance macabre. They have a definite connection and may even feel the other is a soul mate. The danger here is that without LOTS of work to avoid this, each person ‘thinks’ the other person ‘should’ already ‘know’ what they’ve been ruminating (ad nauseam) in their mind—despite the fact that they verbalized it to that other person. It feels a lot like playing whack-a-mole with invisible varmints, or like a being stuck in a perpetual game of charades, with no gesturing allowed. [Clairvoyance and rules of the game sold separately. Batteries not included.] However you slice and dice it, it definitely keeps you on your toes.

A Word To The Wise Is Sufficient

Here’s the takeaway, ladies and gentlemen. If you’re thinking that you might (even remotely!) be inclined to signing up for a committed relationship with an Aquarius and you’re expecting that relationship to include a healthy component of intimacy—put the crack pipe down and back away from the table. Break the glass, pull the fire alarm.

Exit The Game ‘with the quickness’. Do whatever you have to do, but flee. Go directly to jail. Put yourself in protective custody for your own well being until the crazy urge to couple with such a weirdo subsides. Forfeit your monopoly.  Remove your hotels from Boardwalk and Park Place. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. It’ll be a Mad Hatters’ Tae Party if you don’t.

Odds Are …

The standing joke is that with Aquarians, there’s a fine line between their brilliant genius and eccentricity (read: insanity). So unless you’ve been an acrobat with the circus since you were 12 and have already perfected the art of tightrope walking in your high wire daredevil act, my suggestion is that you run for your life.

Your odds of surviving an Aquarius (in my case, man) are like trying to find an honest black jack dealer in Vegas. All bets are off. Don’t ask for any more cards because you’re up against someone who has long been dealing from the bottom of the deck. Turn your cards over and fold. Cash in your remaining chips and leave the casino. If not, you’ll spend the rest of your relationship life wobbling atop his/her high voltage high wires—only to be suddenly jolted with rogue current and electrocuted. You’ll be walking along one day—thinking all is well and then–ZAP!—you find yourself charred, flipped upside down, on the ground, and still smoking as your kooky Aquarius short circuits and suddenly goes missing.

Having been married to one for 29 years and ghosted unexpectedly on Valentine’s Day—to never hear from him again—I know of what I speak. My biological father was an Aquarius. He was a serial abandoner—marrying, then ghosting seven (yes 7!) wives and twelve (yes 12!) legitimate children before he died of sudden cardiac arrest at 65.  Lord knows how many illegitimate children he had scattered here and there. No doubt, your mileage may vary.  I’m just sayin’.

Lighten Up & Relax!

The focus of this blog is to serve as a much needed humor site. Although it deals with some very serious content, I wanted to begin by lightening the mood by poking fun at both Casper and myself with this bit of Aquarius humor.

Oh, and before I forget … it all comes out in the was and all’s well that ends well as they say. As it turned out, my strange bedfellow was not be the typical humanitarian Aquarius. Nope, I drew the short straw and the one I took home turned out to be more like a bucket full of crazy than a bucket full of hippie peace and love. To be fair, he did emit occasional sparks of humanity just to keep me hooked and looking for the best in him,. Then when I wasn’t looking, he discharged his current all at once and disappeared. Oh, well.

It’d not all bad though. I truly believe that there’s always a silver lining if you put in the time and effort to look for one. Sometimes, to find it though, you have throw open the curtains and sing the other half of the 1960’s Aquarius Anthem.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6CHJe_5kQU?rel=0&showinfo=0&w=640&h=385]

When you are lonely, let it shine on
Got to open up your heart and let it shine on in
And when you feel like you’ve been mistreated
And your friends have turned their back on you
Just open your heart, and shine it on in